[Sitron]

• All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
• The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
• If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
• Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
• One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
• Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
• During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
• Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
• Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
• It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.